Self-Soothing: Caring for Yourself When Emotions Feel Overwhelming
When emotions feel intense or overwhelming, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Many people try to push feelings away or talk themselves out of them, which often leads to more distress. Self-soothing refers to ways of caring for yourself that help your nervous system feel supported enough to move through difficult emotions.
Self-soothing is not about making feelings disappear. It is about creating enough safety and steadiness so emotions can rise and fall. Over time, these practices help build emotional regulation and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Some people find it helpful to start with the body. When the nervous system feels activated, body-based practices can gently signal safety.
Body-based ways to self-soothe include
Slowing your breath, especially by lengthening the exhale
Gentle stretching or movement
Wrapping yourself in a blanket or using something weighted
Taking a warm shower or bath
Placing a hand on your chest or belly and noticing your breath
Sensory experiences can also help ground you when emotions feel hard to name or contain. Engaging the senses can bring you back into the present moment.
Sensory self-soothing may include
Listening to calming or familiar music
Lighting a candle or using a comforting scent
Drinking something warm such as tea or coffee
Holding an object with a soothing texture
Sitting in sunlight or stepping outside for fresh air
When anxiety pulls you into the future or your thoughts feel scattered, grounding practices can help orient you back to what is happening right now.
Grounding practices can include
Noticing five things you see, four things you feel, and three things you hear
Feeling your feet on the floor and the support beneath you
Quietly describing your surroundings to yourself
Splashing cool water on your face or washing your hands
Taking a slow walk and noticing your environment
Emotional expression is another important form of self-soothing. Allowing yourself to feel and express emotions can reduce internal pressure and self-judgment.
Ways to support emotional expression include
Writing freely without editing or structure
Writing a letter you do not plan to send
Naming the feeling and asking what it might need
Allowing yourself to cry in a safe space
Speaking to yourself with kindness and reassurance
Comfort and rest are often essential, especially during stressful or emotionally demanding times. These acts of care are not avoidance but support.
Comforting forms of self-soothing include
Watching or rewatching something familiar
Reading a favorite book or passage
Preparing a simple, nourishing meal
Resting without needing to be productive
Going to bed earlier or taking a short nap
Relational support can also be soothing, even when you are working on relying more on yourself.
Relational ways to self-soothe include
Sending a brief message to someone safe
Sitting near others without engaging, such as in a café or park
Listening to a steady, reassuring voice through a podcast or audiobook
Reminding yourself of people who care about you
It can help to remember that feelings are temporary, even when they feel consuming. You are allowed to need comfort. Self-soothing does not need to be perfect or last a long time to be meaningful.
If self-soothing feels unfamiliar or difficult, start small. One breath, one sensation, or one kind sentence to yourself is enough to begin. Over time, these moments build a greater sense of safety and trust within yourself.
