Softening the Overthinking Spiral: Gentle Approaches to Letting Go
Overthinking isn’t just about worrying; it’s about getting lost in a maze of your own thoughts, searching for certainty where there really isn’t any. It’s that sneaky (and frustrating) little habit of replaying conversations, imagining worst-case scenarios, and analyzing every decision like it’s a life-or-death situation. While thinking things through can be useful, overthinking often leaves us feeling anxious, stuck, and disconnected from the present moment. Have you been there before? It is so exhausting—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Why Do We Overthink?
Overthinking is often a survival strategy, not just a “bad” habit. If you grew up in an environment where things felt unpredictable, where love or safety had conditions, or where mistakes weren’t met with grace, your brain likely learned that scanning for potential threats was necessary for survival. Overanalyzing became a way to try to stay safe—if you could just anticipate every possible outcome, maybe you could avoid pain. But instead of offering protection, overthinking often keeps us locked in a state of hypervigilance, making it hard to feel present, trust ourselves, or rest. It most likely served you at some point, but you don’t need it in the same way anymore. It’s okay to learn a different way of being. You are allowed to let this go.
The Cost of Overthinking
The more we overthink, the more we:
Suffer.
Feel exhausted.
Second-guess ourselves.
Struggle to trust our instincts.
Miss out on the present because we’re stuck in our heads
I recently found myself caught in an overthinking spiral that left me feeling physically and emotionally drained. It was really, truly awful. This wasn’t just a mental loop—my body was on high alert: tense, wired, and bracing as if something terrible was about to happen. It took time to come back to baseline, and I had to lean on multiple grounding practices—yoga (which is so kind to both the body and the mind), deep breathing, and compassionate self-talk.
One book that’s been helping me shift things internally is Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen. It reminds us that our suffering often doesn’t come from our circumstances, but from the thoughts we believe about them. This was such a necessary reminder: just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean I have to engage with it.
Therapists are human, too. Many of us come to this work through our own healing. So I wanted to share some recent insights and practices with you—ones that I return to myself and often share with my clients.
How to Gently Step Out of Overthinking
Recognize the Pattern – The first step is noticing when you’re spiraling. Overthinking thrives in the background, so bringing awareness to it—“Oh, I’m overthinking again. My sweet little brain.”—can create a little space between you and the thought. When you notice it, try to respond with kindness rather than frustration. Overthinking isn’t a flaw; it’s something your brain learned to do to help you.
Interrupt the Loop – Overthinking feeds on mental repetition. Break the cycle by gently shifting your focus—stand up, stretch, take a walk, splash cold water on your face, or say something out loud to disrupt the pattern. Even the smallest shift can remind you that you’re not stuck.
Offer Yourself Reassurance – If overthinking has been your way of staying safe, shifting out of it can feel vulnerable. Try reminding yourself, “I can handle whatever happens,” or “I don’t need to figure this out right now.” These aren’t just affirmations; they’re reminders of your resilience and ability to navigate life as it comes.
Reality-Check with a Good Friend, Loved One, or Therapist – When your thoughts start to feel overwhelming, talking them through with someone you trust can help. Sometimes, just saying them out loud makes them lose their intensity. A supportive person can remind you of what’s true, offer perspective, or simply reassure you that you’re not alone in your thoughts.
Orient Yourself in the Present – Overthinking pulls you into the past or the future. Gently bring yourself back to now. Deep breathing, noticing sensory details around you, or engaging in movement or music can help you reconnect with your body and the present moment.
Ask: Is This Helpful? – Not all thoughts deserve your time and energy. If your overthinking isn’t leading to a solution, it’s just mental noise. Give yourself permission to let it go. (And yes, I know—that’s easier said than done. But practicing, even imperfectly, makes a difference.)
Trust Yourself – The fear behind overthinking is often, “What if I get it wrong?” But the reality is, you are capable of handling whatever comes. Trust isn’t about knowing everything in advance—it’s about taking small steps, making choices, and seeing that you can navigate the outcome with kindness toward yourself.
Bringing It All Together
Overthinking won’t prevent bad things from happening—it only asks you to suffer them twice. If overanalyzing has been your brain’s way of trying to protect you, shifting out of it will take patience, kindness, and self-compassion. This isn’t about forcing yourself to stop thinking—it’s about gently guiding yourself toward a different way of being, one where ease, clarity, and presence have more room to grow.
So, next time you catch yourself spiraling, pause. Take a breath. Offer yourself a little kindness. You don’t have to solve everything right now—some things don’t need solving at all. And that’s okay.
In solidarity,
Natalie
