Softening the Overthinking Spiral: Gentle Approaches to Letting Go
Overthinking isn’t just about worrying; it’s about getting lost in a maze of your own thoughts, searching for certainty where there really isn’t any. It’s that sneaky (and frustrating) little habit of replaying conversations, imagining worst-case scenarios, and analyzing every decision like it’s a life-or-death situation. While thinking things through can be useful, overthinking often leaves us feeling anxious, stuck, and disconnected from the present moment. Have you been there before? It is so exhausting—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Why Do We Overthink?
Overthinking is often a survival strategy, not just a “bad” habit. If you grew up in an environment where things felt unpredictable, where love or safety had conditions, or where mistakes weren’t met with grace, your brain likely learned that scanning for potential threats was necessary for survival. Overanalyzing became a way to try to stay safe—if you could just anticipate every possible outcome, maybe you could avoid pain. But instead of offering protection, overthinking often keeps us locked in a state of hypervigilance, making it hard to feel present, trust ourselves, or rest. It most likely served you at some point, but you don’t need it in the same way anymore. It’s okay to learn a different way of being. You are allowed to let this go.
The Cost of Overthinking
The more we overthink, the more we:
Suffer.
Feel exhausted.
Second-guess ourselves.
Struggle to trust our instincts.
Miss out on the present because we’re stuck in our heads
I recently found myself in an overthinking spiral that left me physically and emotionally drained. It was really awful. It wasn’t just a mental loop—my body was activated and on high alert, tense and wired, as if something terrible was about to happen. It took me some time to get myself back to baseline, and I leaned on multiple soothing techniques, including yoga (which is also so kind to the mind), breathing, and compassionate thinking and care. One book that’s been helping me shift things around inside is Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen. It highlights how our suffering isn’t caused by our circumstances but by the thoughts we believe about them. This was a necessary reminder that just because a thought enters my mind doesn’t mean I have to engage with it. Therapists are human, and many of us come to this field as a result of working through our own struggles, so I wanted to share some recent insights and practices with you—ones that I also share with my clients.
How to Gently Step Out of Overthinking
Recognize the Pattern – The first step is noticing when you’re spiraling. Overthinking thrives in the background, so bringing awareness to it—“Oh, I’m overthinking again. My sweet little brain.”—can create a little space between you and the thought. When you notice it, try to respond with kindness rather than frustration. Overthinking isn’t a flaw; it’s something your brain learned to do to help you.
Interrupt the Loop – Overthinking feeds on mental repetition. Break the cycle by gently shifting your focus—stand up, stretch, take a walk, splash cold water on your face, or say something out loud to disrupt the pattern. Even the smallest shift can remind you that you’re not stuck.
Offer Yourself Reassurance – If overthinking has been your way of staying safe, shifting out of it can feel vulnerable. Try reminding yourself, “I can handle whatever happens,” or “I don’t need to figure this out right now.” These aren’t just affirmations; they’re reminders of your resilience and ability to navigate life as it comes.
Reality-Check with a Good Friend, Loved One, or Therapist – When your thoughts start to feel overwhelming, talking them through with someone you trust can help. Sometimes, just saying them out loud makes them lose their intensity. A supportive person can remind you of what’s true, offer perspective, or simply reassure you that you’re not alone in your thoughts.
Ground Yourself in the Present – Overthinking pulls you into the past or the future. Gently bring yourself back to now. Deep breathing, noticing sensory details around you, or engaging in movement or music can help you reconnect with your body and the present moment.
Ask: Is This Helpful? – Not all thoughts deserve your time and energy. If your overthinking isn’t leading to a solution, it’s just mental noise. Give yourself permission to let it go. (And yes, I know—that’s easier said than done. But practicing, even imperfectly, makes a difference.)
Trust Yourself – The fear behind overthinking is often, “What if I get it wrong?” But the reality is, you are capable of handling whatever comes. Trust isn’t about knowing everything in advance—it’s about taking small steps, making choices, and seeing that you can navigate the outcome with kindness toward yourself.
Bringing It All Together
Overthinking won’t prevent bad things from happening—it only asks you to suffer them twice. If overanalyzing has been your brain’s way of trying to protect you, shifting out of it will take patience, kindness, and self-compassion. This isn’t about forcing yourself to stop thinking—it’s about gently guiding yourself toward a different way of being, one where ease, clarity, and presence have more room to grow.
So, next time you catch yourself spiraling, pause. Take a breath. Offer yourself a little kindness. You don’t have to solve everything right now—some things don’t need solving at all. And that’s okay.
In solidarity,
Natalie
